Monday, July 7, 2008

In retrospec - I.T Goalkeeper

Surfing through some of my older blogs in other places and trying to dig out a few posts which are worth keeping. I'm starting with the I.T. Goalkeeper. Enjoy.

I.T. Goalkeeper
If one think of the corporate world as one big soccer team or soccer match, where will you be?
For me, this is what I think of the organization ...

The coaches and managers shouting throughout the match will be the directors, the GMs and other senior management of the "team". They will be screaming their lungs out and end of the day they know nuts about the business on the field~ "Hey Fandi, run faster! Do that scissors thingy of yours when you get a chance, ok? And its not a request, you must scissors when you get a chance else no more diaper $$$ for you!"

Frankly speaking, its fine if they are fine tacticians like the Benitez, the Mourinho or the Ferguson but most of the time its a Stuart Pearce coming to tell you "we got to fight harder work harder think for the team!" Fighting hard for a cause is absolutely fine to me but most of the time I find myself doing things that make absolutely no sense. Pure nonsense~

Then you get the Strikers and Midfielders~ and in the business world these are the people who bring in the bread and butter~ They are the R&D high-fliers, the Brad Pitt-salesman and QA officers. They sleep for 89 mins and when they score that one goal ( even if its an opponent's own goal ) and they are the heroes. I have nothing against these people... that's what they are paid to do, no? And they are supposed to be good at it.

"I'm good at scoring baby~"
But what happens when they are not good at it? In a soccer team, a player is usually sold ( provided they are still wanted by other teams... ) or just released once their contract ends. In the business world, these people will just leech onto the company. Do you wonder why those salespeople in designer shops are so snobbish? That's because their product sells by itself. You can buy it or you can don't want it. Likewise these leeches can afford to laze around if the company's product sells by itself. And the company will have no means to dispose of these insects unless they want to get into trouble with unions.

Then comes the defense. The defense of a company lies with the Finance and Accounts department. They are supposed to have a strong grip on the $$$ and chase after AR from all corners. Every purchase is scrutinised against the approving authorities and usually the Accounts Dept can give you a good idea of how healthy your company is doing at the click of a button. They defend against oppositions ( customers who don't pay ) and teammates alike ( people trying to con the company of reimbursements ). And of course, they are the side who will issue the paychecks at the end of every month. A strong defense let the midfielders and strikers do their work. A strong defense is still not enough. Another important role is still missing from the team...

The goalkeeper...

A role so despised by many... not many will name a goalkeeper as their favourite soccer player...
And in the corporate world, not many will remember the I.T. or Operations Dept ( unless they cannot deliver their goods or surf their favourite website ).
You make 99 saves in a match and fumbles just 1... You'er a goner~
You keep every PC running smoothly for 364 days and 1 downed equipment and your appraisal goes down the drain.

So how do you become a famous goalkeeper? Just save that important penalty!
Look at Dudek~ what did he do? He did practically nothing but just made that save that won Liverpool the Euro crown.
So how do you become a Dudek in the corporate world?
My advice... be the reserve keeper and hope your team reaches the final.
Spike the number 1's drink with laxative and take over from him midway through the final.
Pray that the match goes into extra-time and make at least 1 save (or you can hope that every ball that comes your way misses the target!)

The man in the middle had it tough~
The truth is the corporate world does not need an I.T. Dept. BI and CRM are some of the remaining fields that are deemed crucial to business goals. That's mainly because they are sales-orientated. No matter how well you upgrade the system, keep it stable, write programs and analyze data, as long as you don't bring in some butter but just spread them (on equipments and licenses) you are a liability... oh yeah~

Wait... did I mention anything about the waterboys who belong to the Administration Dept?

Posted - 20th March 2007

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