Saturday, August 2, 2008

Hangover...

Despite all my efforts, the software is still giving me problems. If it fails again tonight I will probably take it or the anti-virus program out of service first. I suppose the software wasn't meant for windows 2000 server.

Still don't feel very happy. The ghost of yesterday still hangs over me, lingering like the light haze covering HK. The episode yesterday absolutely destroyed any desire left in me to leave a good legacy before I leave this place. Perhaps this period of depression will pass... perhaps~ Right hand still feeling painful as hell. Probably need to get my bones scanned. Typing is hell. Still cannot understand why I wanted to bring myself to golf last night.

Finally realised what exactly pushed me over the edge yesterday. Scorn and all I've heard them before but they were from people in my HQ. People who are professionals in what they do (They will fail in an IT manager role like the a-holes they are because they are only good in 1 field. I have to take care of every field). Yesterday? I was virtually interrogated by 2 arsepunks who cannot even do their own jobs well. I think I was purposely targeted since 1) my position is lower than them and 2) apart from my boss I'm the only Japanese speaker in my team. The a-holes didn't dare to touch my boss, and so I get it.

Another factor must be the fact that I cannot just leave my job now. I still haven't gotten the loan for my new apartment. Sitting in a company with no future yet I must sit there until the time is up... doesn't that sound like jail to anyone? And I'm not even kept in solitary confinement but kept in a cell full of idiots. And getting sodomised by idiots! Wow! I should try to make a movie out of all these... but wait... no one watches HK movies anymore!

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