Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Handling death...

Last week was kind of a low in my 2012. Budget meeting wasn't the best time to make friends. Then I got news that one of my uncles (8th uncle) passed away. It was the first time my mum and 7th uncle (who stays with me) had to deal with the passing of a close sibling. And there I was, right in the middle of a 6-hour meeting that started from 3pm, having to handle the loss of a relative + worrying about how the 2 old folks at home would take it + deal with a bunch of figures on the budget.

By the time I reached home at 9+ I could still see the red eyes of the 2 elders. I'm never the best at consoling and saying sensitive nice words but I managed to ask my uncle how he was feeling. He sorted of ignored my question and said he had to go to the mortuary early in the morning. There and then I decided to take the next day off and go with him.

We left home at 7:30, had breakfast at Maxwell market at 7:45 then reached the mortuary at around 8:30. It wasn't until 10:30 before we could collect the body. In between we walked to the nearby Pearl Centre for breakfast with 8th uncle's family. Collecting the body afterwards, it was the first time I saw my uncle's lifeless body. The feeling was just so unreal. There he was a few metres away from me but not moving, not breathing.

The rest of the afternoon involved meeting with the funeral director on the type of package for the funeral (approx S$25k) and other stuffs involving the funeral. By the time I reached home at 4+pm I was exhausted. I wasn't sure if it was all the driving or the emotional tension. That night and the next few days my family was there nearly everyday until the funeral came to an end with the cremation on Saturday.

By Sunday my uncle and mum were exhausted. The few days at the funeral... the emotions... I guess that must have taken its toll on them. I'm quite worried about their health.

This whole episode also make me take a serious look at my life. Particularly my job. Sometimes I have this nagging feeling that this job will kill me someday. But then again I cannot just turn back on the paycheck.... I guess I have to lose some sleep and start planning...

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