An Eulogy...

My sister passed away exactly 1 year ago today. She fought with stage 4 cancer for 40 months. She was a brave woman. She talked of the disease openly, and I never saw her cry once during her battle with cancer, except on her deathbed...

It took me a long time to accept this fact and I sort of avoided family events because of this. It took me a year or so after knowing her illness before I started to meet her privately, mostly during afternoon day-offs from work. I would spend the afternoon accompanying her to her children's football and netball matches.

As the days gone by, whereby I think she had an idea that her days were up, she kept repeating the same words to me during our afternoon meet-ups, "Look at me, I have all this money but cannot do/eat/go"... She would encourage me to do the things I want to do, go travel, try new hobbies, eat my favourite dishes and spend money in general~

She was a saint in my eyes in many ways. Even if I try, I cannot find major flaws in what she did with her life. A fair mother, great temperament, very very few vices and well-liked by everyone. During her funeral I met many of her ex-colleagues and friends. Some of them I knew from many years ago, some of them whom I met for the very first time. All had only nice things to say about her. Many didn't know of her illness and were shocked to know that she's been living with it for years. I guess its attributed to her kind nature as well. Didn't want to be the centre of attention and didn't want to overly bother other people (Common trait in the family)...

The initial months of her passing was tough for me, to the extent I had to see a shrink. I would suddenly cry uncontrollably and I simply couldn't function. That's not to say its alright now. I still break down in tears once in a while, but I manage to keep it to periods when I'm alone... or I'll just rush to the nearest restroom.

I think of her from time to time, especially during the mornings when I take the short walk from bus-stop to office. Back when she was hospitalized, I would use that time to send her a WhatsApp message to check up on her as well as chitchat with her. Now I will look up at the sky and hope that she's in a better place without pain...

I have my regrets. I wished I've made that trip to Japan with her. Or anywhere else for that matter. That regret is never going to be resolved as she's here no more. End of this year I will bring her kids to Bintan... and that's probably the best thing I can do for now... I'm also traveling alot this year, fulfilling a promise that I will do whatever I want while I still can.

And thanks to her I've went to 2 rounds of endoscopy scan in the last 3 years, in which both scans resulted in benign polyps which could turn bad. I guess in a way she saved my life...

Thanks for taking care of me all these years. You're a fantastic sister and a friend... Let's be siblings again in our next lives... Hopefully I'll be the elder one next time and I'll take care of you... 

Recap : February 2012

Super happening month of February. Brought Baby J to HK. Mummy got a company dinner function. I got the Beta Gamma Sigma induction ceremony in HKUST. Just the perfect opportunity to let everyone in HK take a good look at J~

Early morning flight to HK...

It was during this trip to HK that we realized our decision to relocate back to SG was correct. As we put up at the Marco Polo Gateway hotel, we had to walk past hordes of smokers to get anywhere. The same at the ferry terminal. The same in front of the hotel. The same as long as we were walking outdoors or along the streets. 

The hell that was TST... too many smokers!

Basically Mummy gotta show up in the office so I had alot of quality time one-to-one with J. I fed him, put him to sleep and brought him places. But all he wanted was to play in the room. Once we get out of the hotel he will sit tightly in his pram and not move an inch. Even when I pry him away from his throne he will throw a tantrum which will only stop when I put him snugly back into his seat. So alot of pram-pushing for me (not to mention the whole carrying part with some inaccessible areas). We also witnessed a Chinese kid peeing right in front of Harbour City. Classic~ So many updates from my friends about HK being a huge toilet and in just 4 days I managed to catch 2 instances of public urinals~

Managed to catch up with my closest HKUST classmates on a Friday evening and we all had a great time catching up. Everyone loved to play with J and we proceeded to my hotel room even after our dinner.

Baby J visits HKUST~

Saturday morning we went to HKUST for the Beta Gamma Sigma induction ceremony. Honestly speaking I've never heard of this honor society until HKUST sent me the invitation. I guess no harm joining. One day it might come in handy when the boss of Maxim or some other big shots in HK realise we have something in common~

February also saw my return to league bowling. Definitely rusty due to work commitments but I bit the bullet and went ahead. Needless to say my first few games were crap~ New bowling balls didn't help my cause~ But the season is long and I'm sure I will improve... provided I have the opportunity to improve. Because I also started by golf lessons at Asian Golf Institute.

Life with Baby J, bowling, golf and plotting how to earn more money, buying a bigger house and replacing the car takes up all 24 hours of my life! Every moment of my life is important because we never know when we will sleep and not wake up.

A friend of mine passed away in his sleep on a Thursday morning. All I know is he has been working on this project for his company and has been working hard. Even a day before he passed away he was updating his FB wall on how the project may go either way, glory for all involved or crash-and-burn. Little did any of us know that would have been his last transmission. Subsequently it was his elder sister who has been updating his FB wall with what little information we all had of how he passed on. Even till today we still have no idea what killed him...

Should we let our job dictate how we live our life? Should we let it kill us? Did the job kill him or did he let his job kill him? We will never know until we next meet on the other side. If I have one major regret this year that would have been the failure to organise a bigger gathering for the entire HKUST cohort. But given his busy schedule I doubt he would have been able to make the appointment anyway... or maybe he could? I will never know... He left behind a lasting memory of a friend who always have a smile~

Recap : January 2012

Sooner than we realised, it was January 2012. For the missus and myself it marks the end of 1 year that we have spent together in Singapore. The past several years in HK are now a blur to me. I certainly cannot remember in which particular year I took a trip to Hokkaido, or Europe or a business trip to China or Kyoto. I most certainly cannot differentiate the days and months I spent between 2007-2009 because they were mostly monotonous without anything outside of work and home. My best years in HK were the 1st, when I was kept extremely busy with work and studies, and the last, when I was kept busy with studies, bowling and a pregnant wife. 

2011 marks a significant year which saw the arrival of our little prince J. 

*Wink Wink*

The joy of being a father, the worries of being an unemployed father. A roller-coaster of a year for me 2011 was. Definitely one to remember. And of course my new job. A job till today I am not completely sure about. I'm quite sure they are sure about me since they've given me confirmation 2 months earlier than the original 6-month probation period.

The pay is nothing to shout about given the volume of work and job roles I play but then again its approximately 50% higher than my previous job in HK. Coupled with a tax system that favors child-bearing  its definitely a great deal to be back working in SG again. Doing my sums I'm getting double my pay in HK as I do no have to pay rental for a shoebox apartment anymore~

I've also been getting calls from headhunters here and there but a higher pay with frequent flying or a lower pay with less job responsibilities just doesn't cut it out for me at this stage of my life. I will give this job a real go and see where it will bring me in 1 year.

January marked a few major events. 1st is the wedding of my dear friend M. He got married to his long-time girlfriend and at the point of writing, has just donated his kidney to his wife. I wish them nothing but good health and good life with each other. And I hope and pray that this transplant means that she will be able to bear children for M, for he loves kids, pets and all living things. Our Japanese teacher K also came over from Japan to attend the wedding. Its occasions like this that brings the few of us friends back together. Work and family commitment has rendered us only friends on Facebook and WhatsApp, and not so much physically within each other.

J climbing the sofa mountain!

Then we got Chinese New Year. A 1st for Baby J. At this point of time J is capable of walking running climbing... all sorts of actions which will render us crazy~

Candlelight dinner for 2

Not forgetting my wife's birthday. I brought her to Au Jardin in the Botanical Gardens. Lovely food in a lovely place right smack in the middle of the Gardens. And at the right price for me.

Baby J's arrival log~

Baby J's first "reaction" in this world was an eruption after the nurse cleaned the area near his balls...

Day 1 - The very first photo for Baby J

All wrapped up after a thorough cleaning by the nurses

In the ward - the look of Baby J after feeding

1st night ready to sleep

2nd day morning - A sight of Baby J sleeping is a good one

Always hungry for more...

Day 3 - Bye bye ward~ (Baby J is in the picture!)

On the way out of the hospital~

Home sweet home... snooze...